Different State of Mind
by swell1
Summary: Just a boy and a girl trying to figure out what's going on. As well as a first time writer trying to feel around and see what works and what doesn't.


So this is my very first attempt at writting something. Ideas have been kind of swimming around in my head so I though i'd give it the old college try. Hope ya'll like it.

I don't own a thing. I know it's really sad.

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BPOV

I had spent the last year and a half in a constant haze of lust and fantasy and honestly I didn't really have a problem with that.

After moving to the wet and lush town of Forks that offered no real distraction from my normally over active head I needed something to keep me occupied; and Edward Cullen was as good of a distraction as any.

The boy was odd but I couldn't really put my finger on exactly why that was.

He spent his days at school, just like any other 17 year old male in the United States. The wasteland of hormones and stale conversations keeping him occupied during the unwavering hours. He had friends and hobbies; he had good days and bad days. Yet somewhere, in the hum drum of everyday life at Forks high school Edward Cullen managed to stand out from the crowd.

I had on more than one occasion observed that he did not contain the overly confident outlook of many of the teenage boys I had come into contact with on a nearly daily basis. In fact, most of the time he seemed to be slightly uncomfortable with himself; constantly fidgeting he would rock from one foot to the other seemingly searching for a comfortable stance and then he would fiddle with the position of his pants on his hips first pulling them slightly up and then pushing them back down into the position they previously rested in; apparently uncertain of which he favored. Yet there was an understated poise in the way he held himself that came out when he was comfortable in his surroundings. I yearned to know what made those rare instances in which he seemed so self assured bubble to the surface. I yearned to know a lot about Edward Cullen.

Lost in my own world I guess I didn't notice my best friend Jasper take a seat next to me while I tracked Edwards' progress across the cafeteria, head down yet feet confident and swift. The boy was a walking contradiction.

"Hey Bells, watcha doing?"

"OH!" I gasped, startled slightly by Jaspers sudden appearance next to me I was jostled from my thoughts and from my spot on my chair causing me to simultaneously jump and push the chair back before I was able to get my bearings together, subsequently leaving me crumpled and kind of embarrassed on the floor inbetween the chair and table I was previously sitting at.

"Smooth move bumble B" Jasper rasped in between giggles "I couldn't have planned that if I tried".

"Shut the fudge up J" I furiously whispered trying to stifle my own giggles in order to make my order seem like an actual threat instead of the empty warning it was.

"Bella Swan you little hoochie mamma, what the fuck are you doing under that table" a bellowing Alice screeched from across the cafeteria.

"Oh god, how could this get any worse" I murmured in between my hands that were now firmly hiding my face from view while I was still crouched and partially concealed under the table.

Just as I was about to scuttle my way out from underneath the table there was a sudden, entirely too close yet not close enough, abrupt and muffled "ooh ooh" that was oh so familiar and remarkably close to the sound a gorilla makes that startled an already bewildered me into bumping my head into the table over head; and with that sudden blow to the head everything slowly faded into black.

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"Edward, what the fuck did you that for. As if she really needs any help being concussed".

I awoke to the sounds of the oh so familiar crinkly paper of the sick bed in the nurses' office and the not so dull roar of Alice Brandon chewing out a very repentant looking Edward. My head hurt too much for me to even consider that maybe I should be a bit embarrassed that I was yet again in the frocking nurse's office. Again.

"Ugh" I groaned. "Alice, would you shut your freckin trap already, I have a serious case of a bumble bump here".

"Rowr! Someone woke up on the wrong side of the nurse's station"

"Yeah well. What the eff ever" I grumbled unable to really think clearly enough for a good retort.

"Bella, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you". Edward whispered from right next to me on the bed all repentant and doe eyed.

Again I was slightly startled because I didn't realize he had sat next to me, but then my heart was all fluttery and my skin was all tingly and crap, did I want to touch him because he was just right there oozing all this warm gushy-ness that everyone else that knows me wouldn't bother with. Not because I was so much clumsy but more kind of jittery and anxious; which tended to lead me to a few accidents here and there and everyone was pretty much used to it by now. Nothing major, I had never had a broken bone or anything. I just got distracted or unfocused sometimes and it usually ended in me taking a little spill or as Jasper and Emmett had so affectionately named it a 'Bumble Bump'.

"Edward, don't worry about it. I mean, who am I to stop you from your usual greeting; that would just be so cruel right? It's not your fault I'm all jumpy and you know spaztastic". I trailed off not really knowing what else to say to excuse the fact that I couldn't just be normal.

"Yeah, I mean who would think Bella would jump from someone sneaking up to her under a table and gorilla grunting in her ear while she was otherwise preoccupied" Alice deadpanned while rolling her eyes.

Edward ducked his head as a slight blush crept its way up his face and in that instance I just wanted to punch Alice right in the baby maker for making this even more awkward then it had to be.

"Alice!" I bellowed. I just couldn't even believe her, sometimes she was the biggest little beezy, and while most of the time I loved her outspoken, unfiltered mouth, right now all I wanted to do was duct tape it shut.

"All right, all right" she said as she held her hands up in a symbol of defeat. "Well, if we're all done here and if you're all done using this as a sad excuse for some extra beauty sleep then I think we should be scoochin our way to class right about now. What do you say, you ready to blow this Popsicle joint?"

Abruptly Edward began to cough and splutter a little bit; obviously getting one of the many innuendos that Alice so loved to slip into everyday conversation. And with that I was no longer able to look him in the eye as a flash vision of me on my knees blowing Edward's Popsicle joint danced through my head.

"Oookay well, I gots to go! Peace out hommie G's" Alice chimed as she exited the room and subsequently left a big gaping expanse of uncomfortable silence in the room.

As I slowly recovered from the flush that had taken over my own cheeks I hesitantly peeked up through my lashes to see what Edward was up to. As soon as he noticed my attention was no longer diverted he flashed me a grin that seemed to acknowledge the awkward situation we were in and that he was ready to move past it if I was as well.

"So Bella" he paused to lean closer so that I could hear his low honey tones "would you mind If I walk you to your class, just so I know you make it there without any more accidents" he grinned.

"Sure Edward" I paused slowly releasing my own grin "that would be nice".

And with that we walked out of the nurse's office with Edward Cullen's hand awkwardly hovering just over the small of my back but never actually making contact.

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So... how'd it go? Should I keep going? Let me know =]


End file.
